


My World

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Explicit Language, F/M, Humor, M/M, Mpreg, Out of Character, Parody, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-23
Updated: 2007-11-12
Packaged: 2018-10-01 00:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10176461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: Draco and Harry have been together for years. They're happy, or are they? When Draco suddenly leaves Harry, Harry wants to know why. (My first ever piece of H/D fanfic)





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**A/N This was my first ever piece of H/D fanfic. It started off as a one shot, but ended up in this mini epic! I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to review!**

 

**1\. My World - Harry‘s POV**

 

Something awoke me one morning before dawn. I cannot say what it was - not a noise or a motion, more of a sensing. As soon as I reached minimum consciousness, I realised the bed I shared with my love was empty and cold. It was no surprise, though. I had left him by the fire last night, with the dogs for company and it wasn’t unusual for me to find him asleep on the rug in the morning. As I folded my hands behind my head and stretched in the bed, enjoying the quiet of the early morning, that ‘sense’ again tugged at my mind, more urgent this time. I took heed of it, and briefly closed my eyes while taking a deep breath. As my eyes snapped open, I instantly knew something was amiss. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and crept out of the bedroom.

As I padded silently down the stairs, my ears were keenly straining for any sound out of place, but there was nothing, except a dreadful, empty silence. I thought he might have gone out with the dogs, as he sometimes did. But my heart and soul knew something was wrong. My head refused to listen.

As I pushed the door to the living room open gently, my throat tightened and my heart started to pound. I took a moment to calm myself, and then entered.

The fire had died down long ago, but its embers were still glowing a sullen red, and a steady heat emanated from the fireplace. The dogs were curled up side-by-side on the rug, but there was no sign of my angel. Nor was he on the couch or in the kitchen. A momentary panic seized me, and then a cold calm took over. I was drawn back into the living room, to the mantelpiece. Though my brain didn’t comprehend what it was looking for, my eyes found it immediately. It was there, in front of the picture of us, though I don’t know how I knew it was there.

An envelope, addressed to me. Shaking slightly, I picked it up and opened it. The dogs had awoken, and sensing the same thing that had drawn me here, sat either side of me, their big eyes fixed on the contents of the envelope.

A piece of paper with five words on it and a ring. His wedding ring. As I read the words over and over, my anger built. Soon all I could see and hear were those words - _‘I have gone. Don’t follow.’_ How could he do this to me? After everything we’ve been through? How could he just . . . run away?

Everything happened simultaneously. As the sun broke over the horizon, signalling the start of a gorgeous day, I hurled the letter and envelope into the glowing embers, watching as they slowly burnt. A groan escaped my lips, and as I grasped the ring tighter and tighter in my hand, it turned into a howl of pure rage, anguish, and a lost spirit. As I sank to my knees, I was joined by two others voices, less guttural than my own, but painful nonetheless.

My knees hit the floor as the last of the sun broke the horizon. My mind let go of its sanity as I heard the first birds. My voice broke all sound barriers as my world fell apart.

 

TBC


	2. Why I Ran - Draco's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**2\. Why I Ran - Draco‘s POV**

 

When he left me to go to upstairs to bed last night, I wasn’t asleep, even though I pretended to be. I wanted to stay downstairs because that would make it easier to do what I felt I had to do. I left a note on the mantelpiece and I hoped he'd see it. I hoped he’d understand, although I know I’m hoping for a miracle. The dogs looked at me quizzically, wondering where I was going at this time of night and wondering why they weren’t coming with me. I tried to smile at them but it didn’t work, and my voice seemed to have deserted me. With a longing last look around the place I’d called home, I opened the door and left.

I could have Apparated, or used a Portkey, or the Floo network. But I didn’t want to use any kind of magic because I knew he’d sense it if I did. Instead, I walked, even though it frustrated me having to go so slow. But it gave me time to reflect, time to think about why I was doing what I’m doing.

I started by remembering when it all began - two years ago, on our wedding day. Even though Harry and I had been together for years, getting married was a scary prospect, even for me. I found myself wondering why, why did he want to spend the rest of his life with me? The doubts grew from there, leading to what I’m doing now. After the ceremony, I was shocked when Hermione (who had gotten married to Ron a couple of years earlier) threw her arms around my neck and kissed me on both cheeks. “Congratulations!” she said. “I can’t believe you two are married! You both look so good together!” 

An even bigger shock for me came when Ron shook my hand firmly before pulling me into a gruff hug. “Well done, you two, I’m pleased for you. But,” he looked at me meaningfully, “If you ever hurt Harry, you’ll have me and my family to deal with. And that includes my wife.” He said the last words pointedly and I vividly remembered the incident where Hermione broke my nose in our third year at Hogwarts. I know I deserved it, but it was still embarrassing to be beaten by a girl.

Harry just laughed and told them I’d never do such a thing. He looked so happy and I wondered for the hundredth time that day what I ever did to deserve him. I’ve thought about that many times since then, trying to find some credible answer to the question, but I can’t. Even though I love him - more than I imagined I could ever love anyone - I feel like I can’t make up for my past sins. I want him to be happy, and I think he’d be much better off without me. Even though I’d try not to, I’d only end up hurting him, and I’d rather chew my arm off than do that. Yes, a very un-Malfoy-like attitude, I know, but that’s what being in love with Harry Potter will do to you.

And yet, even though I took Ron’s warning seriously, I’m about to do the very thing I promised I wouldn’t do - hurt Harry. But I know there’s someone better for him out there, someone who hasn’t treated him as badly as I have. That’s why I’m running away. For him. No matter how much it hurts me.

 

 

TBC


	3. What Now? - Harry's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**3\. What Now? - Harry‘s POV**

 

I don’t know what time it was when my grief finally subsided, but the sun was quite high in the sky. There was an owl tapping insistently on the window and I rushed to it, thinking it might have been a message from Draco. But it was only Hermione, reminding me that the pair of us were due at hers and Ron’s house for dinner at six o‘clock. I glanced at the clock and was shocked to see it was one o’clock already.

I’d spent the last six or seven hours wondering why he’d left, trying to work out what had gone through his head to make him choose such a drastic course of action.

_Was there someone else?_ I dismissed the idea almost immediately, only because I know how much he loves me - he’d never have married me otherwise.

_Then why had he gone?_ Voldemort would never bother us again and neither would any of his followers. For the first time in our lives, we were both free. Why, then, had the love of my life just disappeared?

I cast my mind back to happier times, hoping to find a reason for his sudden departure. The first memory that came into my head was Ron and Hermione’s wedding. That was the first major occasion where Draco and I had been seen together in public, and we only did it then because Hermione insisted.

“Honestly! You’ve been going out long enough now,” she told us. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of what you are.” We both started to protest, but she just talked over us, as usual. “Ron and I are inviting you as a couple, so that’s what you’ll show up as or you won’t be allowed in.” Neither of us argued and we were pleasantly surprised how ‘okay with it’ people were, especially with Draco’s reputation being what it was.

The best part was when Mrs Weasley came over to us. “Harry, I’m so glad you’ve finally found someone you can be happy with,” she said, hugging me close. I love the Weasleys, especially Mrs Weasley - they’re the family I’ve never had - and to have her blessing meant more to me than anything else in the world. Apart from Draco. As I muttered my thanks, she looked at me and said firmly, “You will always be welcome with us.” Then she turned to Draco and gave him a genuine smile. “You as well.” She squeezed his shoulder before walking and I could see Draco was surprised at such a reception, even though the Weasleys had invited him to spend every Christmas at the Burrow since Voldemort’s defeat. I suddenly realised how short of love he had been in his life, so I kissed him.

“What was that for?” he asked in a startled voice.

“Because,” I answered, lacing my fingers with his.

Ron and Hermione’s service was simple but beautiful, and I’d never seen my two best friends looking happier. I felt fit to burst with love for them, and for the man at my side.

When managed to corner the happy couple later on, I banged Ron on the back in congratulations before giving him a gruff hug. A proper man hug, as Hermione called them. The one I gave her was more tender and loving, and I knew she knew how much I cared for them both just from that hug. Then Draco stepped up.

“I just want to say how happy I am for you,” he said to them, inclining his head. Then he held his hand out to Ron, who took it with some trepidation. There was still uncertainty between those two, a feeling that would only pass with time. Then Draco turned to Hermione and kissed her hesitantly on the cheek. She responded in a typically Hermione way and threw her arms around his neck. It was clear she was pleased with the way he’d turned out, and the look she gave me told me I should consider myself a lucky man.

How, then, did we end up here? How did I suddenly end up alone, with no warning of what was going to happen? Draco had been behaving exactly as he normally did, no more moody or loving than usual. So what had made him do this? And what do I do now?

 

TBC


	4. Second Thoughts - Draco's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**4\. Second Thoughts - Draco‘s POV**

 

I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going or how far I’d walked. I didn’t even know what time it was but I found I didn’t care. Actually, I was beginning to wonder if I’d made a mistake leaving like I did, but then I told myself firmly that this attitude wouldn’t do. I reminded myself that I was doing this for Harry’s own good, whether he realised it or not. No, not Harry - it had to be Potter from now on. I winced as I realised how long it’d been since I called him by his last name, but I needed to distance myself from my feelings and calling him ‘Potter’ seemed like a good place to start.

_But what if I’m wrong?_ I couldn’t stop the doubts from reappearing, so instead I took the time to study each one, trying to dismiss them reasonably. I was used to talking to myself, but I wasn’t used to answering myself back. I briefly wondered if I was insane. Or maybe it was lack of Harry - I mean Potter - that was the problem. Great. More doubts.

_Okay, does Harry really need me?_ Let’s see - he hasn’t had any nightmares since you two got together. He sleeps better, eats better and generally looks better - what do you think?

_Yes, but does he_ need _me?_ Does that really matter? He _wants_ you, that’s the important part.

_It matters to me. And how do I know he wants me?_ This is going to be a very tedious conversation if you insist on questioning absolutely everything. He wouldn’t have married you if he didn’t want you, you prat.

_All right, there’s no need to be insulting_ (I suddenly realised I was arguing with myself, but I didn’t have anyone else to talk to so I carried on.) _Fine, so he wants me but might not need me. Wouldn’t he be better off with someone he needs?_ You don’t listen, do you? Harry’s always telling you that. He couldn’t have defeated Voldemort without you, he sleeps at night now because of you, he’s a happier person because of you - I think that means he needs you!

_I’m not sure I like you_ (Ha! Right. I’m not sure if I like myself or not. Maybe that’s the problem . . .) Maybe it is. You don’t see why Harry loves you, is that it?

_I’m supposed to be asking the questions. Okay, so would he be better off without me?_ I can’t answer that - I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, do I?

_What if . . . What if Harry - I mean Potter - isn’t better off without me?_ He was fine without you for years before you finally admitted your feelings for each other. Why should this be any different?

_Yes, but he wasn’t happy, was he?_ I think that’s your answer.

I stopped suddenly, feeling close to tears. Feeling close to falling apart at the seams. I looked up and realised I was at Ron and Hermione’s - no, the Weasels - house. I couldn’t bring myself to go as far as to call Hermione a ‘Mudblood’, even though I was trying to distance myself from my feelings. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, but I was more concerned with how I ended up here. If my subconscious was guiding me, why did it bring me here, of all places?

I was just turning round, getting ready to run away again, when I heard a voice shouting. “Mal - Draco?” Even though Hogwarts seemed a lifetime ago, Ron - the Weasel (I’m not going to manage this, am I?) - will never forget who I was, although he tries hard.

I turned back to look at him. “Weasley,” I said in what I hoped was my best sneer. But it didn’t seem to work because Ron took several steps closer to me.

“What’s wrong, Draco?” he asked, purposefully using my first name. I don’t know where he learnt such concern or tact, but then again, his mother is one of the most caring people I’ve ever met.

“Nothing.” I took a step backwards, but Ron carried on walking towards me until he was stood in front of me.

“Don’t lie. You’re not very good at it any more,” he said with a half-smile and suddenly I could see why Hermione loved him. Don’t worry - I wasn’t falling for one of Harry’s (see, told you I couldn’t manage it) best friends. I just realised that Ron might not be as bad as I thought.

He reached up and put his hand hesitantly on my shoulder and suddenly I crumbled, tears flowing uncontrollably from me. I fell forwards, but Ron caught me and I was surprised how strong he was. He pulled me towards him and I leant on him gratefully, my body shaking with emotion.

“Ron?” A female voice, concerned and wondering.

“Hermione. Help?” Ron wasn’t scared, I just don’t think he knew what to do with me. Crying women he could probably handle if he had to, but a crying man? And a Malfoy at that? I don’t think he had a clue and I didn’t blame him.

“Draco?” I felt myself being transferred to someone smaller, not as strong, but just as caring, and I started to relax as Hermione’s arms held me close to her. She made soothing noises while stroking my hair and I could tell she’d had lots of practice at this with her children.

“Come on.” Ron ushered us both inside and as soon as the door was closed, he demanded to know if anything had happened to Harry.

I shook my head, sniffling. Hermione gave me one of those looks, then turned to her husband. “Why don’t you take the children out into the garden?” she suggested in a tone that meant ‘Do it and don’t argue’. “Practice Quidditch with them or do some de-gnoming. Anything.”

Strangely, Ron just nodded and yelled for the kids. Two redheads and a bushy brunette came barrelling down the stairs and out the back door, shouting and laughing. Ron shook his head and followed them outside.

Once we were alone, Hermione looked back at me. “Tell me what this is all about, Draco, and don’t say ‘nothing’. Don’t worry,” she said with a smile. “I won’t break your nose again.”

I gave a watery laugh. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“You’ve left him, haven’t you?”

I looked at her dumbfounded. “How did you know?” I whispered, suddenly realising what a horrible person I was.

“I spoke to Harry about an hour ago. He said he’d be coming alone tonight as you weren’t feeling too well. He’s never been good at lying,” she said.

“Hermione, I don’t know what to do.” I could feel tears rising again and this time, I didn’t try to stop them.

If someone had told me ten years ago, when we were all still at Hogwarts, that I’d be married to Harry Potter, I’d have split my sides laughing before hexing them into oblivion. But if someone had told me that I’d be sat with Hermione Granger (or Weasley, as she is now), crying my eyes out and spilling all my thoughts and emotions, I’d have skipped the laughing and gone straight to the hexing.

But since leaving Hogwarts, and since being with Harry, I’d learnt not to judge people, to consider why I was negative towards them before I opened my mouth. It wasn’t easy, but once I’d done it a few times, I realised I was jealous of everyone. Of Hermione, of Ron - even of Neville - and especially of Harry. Because they all had something I didn’t - they had love. The love of their families or the love of their friends, or both. I didn’t have either and I wanted it, but I didn’t know how to go about getting it.

Until Harry made the first step. He wanted to understand why I acted like I did and he wouldn’t give up until I‘d given him a satisfactory answer. That’s one of the things I admire about him - his tenacity. I wish I could be more like him, but I seem to have grown soft over the years.

I told all of this to Hermione, as well as my feelings of insecurity and my certainty that Harry would be better off without me. She just sat and listened, nodding every now and then. When I finally stopped talking, she regarded me carefully for a few moments and I wondered what she was thinking. Suddenly she slapped me, very carefully and precisely.

“Hermione!” Ron yelled, rushing across the room. The Weasley kids were peeking around the door, their eyes wide. “What did you do that for? Kids, outside, now!” His voice was so commanding that for a moment, I wasn’t sure if it was Ron or not. “Start de-gnoming the garden, I’ll be out in a minute. Whichever of you gets the most gnomes gets a chocolate frog.”

“And a box of Bertie’s Every Flavour Beans?” one of them bartered.

“Fine!” Ron gave in too easily, but the kids didn’t notice. “Go on, out!” They scampered off, laughing and shouting again.

“I was just knocking some sense into him,” Hermione told her husband in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Why? What’s he done?” Ron asked but she chose, wisely, not to tell him.

“It doesn’t matter. He’s just acting like a hormonal woman,” Hermione said, then stopped and looked at me.

It wasn’t long before I started to feel embarrassed by the scrutiny. “What?” I asked, then her comment finally reached my brain and I stiffened, insulted. “I am not acting like some hormonal woman. I came here because I thought you’d understand, but obviously I was wrong.” I stood abruptly and turned to leave, but Hermione’s hand on my arm stopped me. It was only a gentle touch, but it was enough.

“Draco,” she asked in a hushed voice. “Are you pregnant?”

 

TBC


	5. Forgive or Forget - Harry's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**5\. Forgive Or Forget? - Harry‘s POV**

 

I called Hermione to let her know that I’d be coming to dinner alone.

“Draco’s not feeling well,” I told her, trying to keep my voice level. Hermione just nodded and I was sure she knew I was lying. She had a nasty habit of being able to see straight through almost everyone she knew and suddenly I felt sorry for Ron - he probably couldn’t get away with anything.

My mind turned to Ron and Hermione’s children - mine and Draco’s godchildren - and I started thinking about the first time Hermione was pregnant. She was most definitely _not_ happy about it.

“There was nothing in the books about how bad this would be!” she said shrilly while her husband just looked at me and Draco with a stupid grin on his face. “How would you feel if it was you, Ronald?”

Ron just grinned even harder, making me and Draco laugh. Hermione stormed off, grumbling about how she hated men, especially those closest to her, and how she was never going to get pregnant again.

But eight months later, Hermione changed her mind as young Sirius Albus was born. I was thrilled they were using my godfather’s name, although Ron had to make sure it was alright. “You sure you don’t mind, Harry?” he asked almost shyly. “It’s just that we thought it’d be a nice way to respect those who . . .” He didn’t have to finish that sentence for me to know what he meant.

I grinned and pulled him into a hug. “Of course I don’t mind! I think it’s a brilliant idea.” Then I started crying, as did Ron. Draco just looked at us for a moment before throwing his arms around us and soon we were all bawling loudly.

We were allowed to see Hermione and baby Sirius a few hours later and as we crept into the room, she gave us such a big smile I thought the sun was coming up. She looked radiant and perfect, and I told her so. “Thank you, Harry,” she said, blushing.

Draco stepped forward and handed her a bunch of wild flowers which he had picked earlier. “These are for you,” he said in a shy voice and Hermione blushed even more.

“Blimey, Harry,” Ron said in amazement. “You managed to tame Malfoy.”

“I think he’s tamed me too,” I replied, squeezing Draco’s hand affectionately.

Ron and Hermione shared a look, then Ron cleared his throat. “We, er, we’d like to, er, ask you both something, er . . .”

“Honestly, Ronald,” Hermione said with a sigh, but she was smiling nonetheless. “We’d like you to be godparents to our children, no matter how many we have.”

Draco and I began spluttering at the same time and I was the first one to regain my senses. “But what about your family?” I asked Ron, who just shrugged.

“Ginny’ll have her own family soon, as will Bill, and Charlie’s busy in Romania with his dragons. And do you honestly think we’d let the twins anywhere near our children for longer than five minutes?” There was no mention of Percy and I wasn’t surprised.

“Good point.” I laughed, then I looked at Draco. “Well, love? What do you say?”

Draco smiled and let go of my hand so he could walk over to the bed. He brushed Sirius’s cheek with his fingers, then looked at Hermione and finally to Ron. “I don’t know about Harry, but I’d be deeply honoured.”

“Harry?” Hermione asked.

“I can’t exactly say no now, can I?” I retorted before smiling. “The answer’s yes, of course.”

James Severus was born two years later and Draco and I almost laughed ourselves to death when we heard the name. “I’m sure your father and my godfather would be thrilled to find a child’s been named after them!” Draco managed to say between laughs.

Another Weasley child was welcomed into the world two years after James, and I wondered if Ron and Hermione’s family would end up as big as Ron’s. The third child was a girl and I had the shock of my life when Hermione asked me if they could call her Lily, after my mother. I wasn’t really surprised they’d chosen my dad’s name for child number two - after all, James was a popular name. But Lily?

“It just seems right,” Hermione said with a shrug. “We thought Lily Molly.”

Draco chuckled but no one took offence. We’d all known each other far too long for that. “Why do parents insist on giving their children second names?” he mused while we ignored him.

“I think it’s perfect,” I said before kissing Hermione on the cheek and slapping Ron on the back. “But if I can ask, why are you doing this? Using the names of people closest to Draco and me, not necessarily you.”

Hermione looked at Ron before she looked down at baby Lily, and it was a look I recognised all too well. “Well, mate, it’s like this,” Ron began, but I cut him off.

“We’ll be here forever if you try to explain,” I told him. “Besides, I get the feeling this is Hermione’s idea, so I want her to tell me what’s going on.”

Hermione looked at me and suddenly began speaking in a great rush. “Please don’t be mad, Harry, but I thought you and Draco would appreciate the gesture. I mean, we like the names for the children, obviously, but we thought it would be nice for your families’ names to live on, especially because we don’t know if you two can have children or not yet.” She said all that without breathing, which I was impressed with. But then what she had actually said registered and a whole bunch of emotions tried to come out of me at once, resulting in me stuttering again.

I could hear Draco doing the same to my left. This time, though, he managed to speak first. “I’m flattered, Hermione, we both are, I’m sure,” he said. “We don’t mind and I’m sure Harry’s not angry. But kids? I mean . . .”

“We’re not even married yet,” I blurted out before I could stop myself and the room went quiet. Silently I kicked myself very hard. “What I meant was . . .” Words seemed to have failed me and all I could think about was leaving. Quickly. “I appreciate the gesture as well. Thank you, both of you. Come on, Draco, let’s give them some space.” We both kissed Hermione and the baby, and shook hands with Ron before leaving.

We walked hand-in-hand in silence for some time before Draco finally spoke. “What was that all about, Harry?”

“What? Nothing,” I replied awkwardly.

“Tell me,” he said, squeezing my hand.

“I know we’ve mentioned marriage and kids and stuff in passing, but we’ve never really talked about it properly, and then to have Hermione just throw it into a conversation threw me a bit, that’s all,” I told him, trying to reassure him.

“Does the idea bother you?” he asked, and I could tell with the tone of his voice that he was hurt.

I pulled his arm to make him stop and when he did, I cupped his face and looked straight into his eyes. “No, the idea doesn’t bother me at all. I just don’t want to rush things, that’s all. I don’t want to scare you off.”

Now he looked surprised. “Why would you think that, love?” he asked, putting his hand gently on the back of my neck.

“Because of my problems, my insecurities, my past,” I replied in an unsteady voice. “I’m scared it’ll all be too much for you. And I’m scared that I’ll frighten you away with how much I love you. Merlin knows it terrifies me sometimes.”

“That you can feel so much for one person or because that person is me?” he said.

“Both,” I answered honestly.

He leant forward and gave me a long, passionate, loving kiss. I felt extremely light-headed when he pulled away. “Don’t be afraid of anything. I’m not leaving you,” he told me as he leant in for another kiss.

I should have known better than to believe him, but he seemed determined to make good on that promise. Not long after that conversation, we were engaged and then married. But I don’t want to think about that, not right now. It’s too painful.

I found I was left with three questions. There’s an old saying ‘forgive and forget’, but I couldn’t do both. So . . .

_One: should I forgive Draco (once I find him) and give him another chance?_ The option I’d most like to take, even though I’d never be able to forget what he’s done to me.

_Two: should I forget Draco?_ The harder option, but I was tempted by that as well. If he hadn’t got the decency to tell me why he’d gone, then why shouldn’t I forget him?

_Three: what the fuck am I going to wear for dinner tonight?_ Okay, so that had nothing to do with my current problem, but it was a question that needed answering. For now, I had to keep pretending that everything was normal.

I opened my wardrobe and picked out a pair of faded dark blue jeans, a dark green shirt and a black suede jacket. Strange as it was, I found I was still dressing to impress Draco.

 

TBC


	6. Oh Dear - Draco's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**6\. Oh Dear - Draco‘s POV**

 

I stared blankly at Hermione, unaware that my mouth was hanging open, and Ron was looking at his wife as though she had drunk a full case of Firewhisky. “Preg - preg - preg -” I stuttered. “But - but - I -”

“You can’t be pregnant?” Hermione finished for me. She had an insufferably superior expression on her face, which meant she knew something we didn’t. Which was nothing new. “Why not?”

I stuttered some more, unable to form any kind of coherent response, but luckily Ron had come back to his senses. “Other than the obvious fact that they’re both _men_?” he told his wife in a tone he probably used when talking to their youngest child.

Hermione glared at him. “Honestly, Ronald!” she said for the second time that night. I got the feeling she said it often. “Don’t you ever read?”

That had to be Hermione’s most famous phrase - I was certain almost everyone in Hogwarts had heard those words uttered to them.

“No,” her husband replied with a grin. “That’s what you’re here for.”

A very quick response and judging from Hermione’s smile, it was one he used often. “Well,” she started, and I tried to pay attention because I knew that ‘well’ meant something important was about to follow. “There was something in the Daily Prophet a few months ago about a new potion that allows erm . . .”

“Now’s not the time to get embarrassed, Hermione,” Ron reminded her.

“Alright, it allows gay couples to have children. Men, I mean,” she said in a rush.

“You mean . . . Harry and I could have a baby that was half me and half him?” I spluttered, unable to hide my grin.

“And you still want to leave him?” she asked me pointedly.

“What?” Ron’s head came round sharply and there was anger in his eyes.

“Thanks, Hermione,” I snarled at her, although I didn’t really mean it.

“I’m sorry, Draco. Nothing, Ron, forget it. Ron, sit down!” she ordered, and her husband complied, although he was still glaring at me.

“Okay, firstly, I didn’t know there was such a potion,” I told her. “So how can I be pregnant? And secondly, I don’t want to leave Harry. I just . . . panicked.” I sighed as I realised I was going to have to explain this to them, and probably to Harry later on, if I could ever get him to talk to me again. “I’ve never felt true love before, from anyone. My family never showed affection of any kind and I’ve never had any real friends.”

“You have us,” Hermione said in a quiet voice.

“That’s now. Growing up I didn’t,” I replied with a gentle smile. “Then suddenly I have the love of a gorgeous man, I have true friends, and I’ve been adopted into a large, caring family.” I looked at Ron when I said that and his face turned the same colour as his hair. “I don’t know how to handle it.”

“But you’ve been in this situation for years, Draco,” Hermione said with a frown. “You’ve been with Harry for . . . how long?”

“Eight years, ten months, three days and about five and a half hours,” I answered without hesitation.

Ron looked impressed, but Hermione gave her husband a long suffering stare. “Why is it he can remember that, but you struggle to remember my birthday?”

Ron shrugged. “I’m not good with dates,” he replied.

Hermione shook her head despairingly, but I could tell she didn’t really mean it. “Anyway, Draco, you’ve been with Harry for almost nine years. Why are you suddenly feeling insecure?”

“Being a boyfriend and being a husband are two different things. We might have been together for ages, but we‘ve only been married a few years.” I realised I was doing a poor job of explaining myself. “Harry seems to love me more now than he did before.”

“And that scares you.” Surprisingly, it was Ron who uttered those words, and it was more of a statement than a question.

“Doesn’t it scare you?” I asked, nodding towards Hermione.

“Of course,” he replied matter-of-factly, and I wondered again if it really was Ron I was talking to. “But she knows that. She knows that the kids scare me too. The fact that my family loves me to distraction bloody well terrifies me, but it doesn’t matter so long as they know about it.”

I sat quietly for a while, contemplating what Ron had said. Who ever thought I’d be taking advice from Weasley? And even worse, I was actually feeling affectionate towards him. And Hermione. I sighed and shook my head, and Hermione asked me what was wrong. “I was just wondering when I stopped being ‘Malfoy - arrogant git’ and turned into ‘Draco - sappy git,” I told her.

“Around the time you and Harry got together?” Ron asked.

“No, you were like this before. The arrogance was just a mask,” Hermione answered in her best teacher’s voice.

“Thanks. There’s still one problem - what do I do now?” I asked, suddenly realising that I might have lost the love of my life forever.

“Actually, I’d like know if you’re pregnant or not first,” Hermione said. “If you are, that would account for your emotions running high, and Harry is much more likely to forgive you. If you’re not pregnant, then you’re going to have to do some serious explaining to him. I don’t think you’ve ruined everything, but the longer you leave it before you talk to him, the worse it’s going to be.”

“She’s got a point, mate,” Ron said, deliberately using the friendly term to make me see sense.

I nodded. “Right. How do I find out if I am . . . pregnant or not?”

Hermione got her wand and sat down next to me. “There’s a spell that Poppy uses,” she said. “She taught it me after I’d had James.”

“Poppy?” I asked.

“Madam Pomfrey. She insisted on delivering all my children, along with Molly’s help.” Hermione put her hand on my abdomen and muttered the spell underneath her breath.

For a moment nothing happened, and I wondered if Hermione had got the spell wrong (it would be a first, but there’s a first time for everything). Or I wasn’t pregnant. Which I shouldn’t be, I _couldn’t_ be. But even though logic told me it was wrong, I found myself feeling disappointed at not being pregnant. How daft was that? But then my abdomen began to glow, as did Hermione’s hand, and her jaw dropped open as she looked at me in surprise.

“Does, er, that, er, mean what I, er, think it does?” Ron spluttered.

Hermione removed her hand and the glow disappeared. “I think so.”

“You mean . . . I’m pregnant?” I asked her incredulously, ignoring the fact that I was stating the obvious.

“It would appear so, Draco,” Hermione said, smiling gently.

“But _how_?” I exploded, jumping off the couch. I wasn’t furious at the fact I was pregnant, I was furious because I didn’t know how it had happened. Then I stopped and my heart plummeted to my feet. “Harry . . .”

But Hermione got to her feet and shook her head vehemently. “No, Draco. This isn’t something Harry would do. You know that.”

“Then who? Someone must have given me that potion because I didn’t take it myself.”

“Who made the discovery of the potion?” Ron asked, a strange look on his face.

Hermione frowned as she thought, then her jaw dropped as the name came to her. “Snape.”

“ _SEVERUS???_ ” I yelled at the top of my voice.

A bushy red head appeared in the doorway. “Whatever-it-is-I-didn’t-do-it,” the Weasleys’ five year old son said without breathing.

“Not you, James,” Hermione said with a smile. “Your namesake. Go back into the garden.”

As the child’s head disappeared, I turned to look at his parents. “Do all your children answer to both their names?”

Ron nodded. “We have a system,” he said, glancing meaningfully at his wife, who managed to look slightly embarrassed. “Depending on what name you get called depends on how much trouble you’re in.”

“What happens if you get your full name?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Jump on the nearest broomstick and fly away. Fast,” Ron answered with a grin. “That goes for me too.”

“Back to the matter in hand,” Hermione said primly.

“Right.” I turned abruptly and walked out of the house, as I knew I couldn’t Apparate inside the building because Hermione had put protection spells around it. As soon as I reached the garden, I thought about Severus’s house and Apparated.

“Oh dear,” Hermione said, shaking her head.

 

TBC


	7. Second Chances - Harry's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**7\. Second Chances - Harry‘s POV**

 

I decided to walk to Ron and Hermione’s, so I set off earlier than I had planned to. The air was warm, even though it was late autumn, and the sky was slowly turning dark blue as the sun was setting. Draco always loved it when I got mushy and poetical. He said it made him love me even more.

I stopped walking as I felt tears welling in my eyes again. Even though I had come to a decision about what I should do, Draco’s betrayal still hurt. If there was a problem, why didn’t he talk to me about it? We didn’t keep secrets from each other - we hadn’t since we’d had our first argument.

I wanted to focus on a good memory, but our wedding day was still too painful to think about, so I remembered how we got together instead. It helped to remind me why I fell in love with Draco and why I should forgive him. If I could find him.

It all started exactly one year after we were supposed to have finished Hogwarts. Of course, Ron, Hermione, Draco and I never actually completed our seventh year as we were too busy defeating Voldemort. Several of our friends - including Ginny, Neville, Seamus and Dean - had also left school in order to help us. After Voldemort had gone, Headmistress McGonagall gave us the opportunity to go back and complete our seventh year if we wanted, which would have meant eight years at Hogwarts in total. Neville, Dean and Seamus all agreed, and Ginny went back into her sixth year. Hermione was tempted, but Ron adamantly refused. War had changed them both and even though they had found love in each other (although they still hadn‘t admitted it), going back to Hogwarts was just not an option for them. As for Draco and me, I don’t think either of us had ever considered going back. For us, school ended the night Dumbledore died.

But McGonagall refused to let us give up our education, and she insisted on some kind of home schooling for the four of us, which didn’t go down too well as you can imagine. Even though Draco had ended up helping us defeat Voldemort, six years of hassle from him couldn’t be erased from our memories. Surprisingly, I was the one who made the first move. I’d seen a different side to him during the war, a side I wanted to get to know.

We chatted about our school work at first, as that was fairly safe ground. He helped me with my Potions and I helped him with his Defence Against the Dark Arts. Once we were certain we wouldn’t start arguing over work, we moved onto Quidditch. We had quite a few disagreements, as I recall, but they all seemed to be good-natured. Draco had lost the malice that had dominated his personality and I found myself liking him, even though we still weren’t on a first name basis.

Hermione tentatively tried to make conversation with him as well. Draco was always polite, always called her by her first name, and she eventually came to the same conclusion that I had. She particularly warmed to him after he received an ‘O’ on an essay she had helped him with.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Hermione!” he said, grinning broadly. “You’re a star!” Then he planted a quick kiss on her cheek and walked off, humming happily to himself.

“Maybe he’s not so bad after all,” she said to me, blushing furiously. I just grinned at her, but Ron was livid.

“Hermione, this is _Malfoy_ we’re talking about. You do remember what _Malfoy’s_ like, don’t you?” he asked her pointedly.

“Yes, Ronald,” she replied patiently. “But _Draco_ is different.”

I thought Ron was going to have an apoplexy, but he suddenly remembered to breathe.

That all happened in our first term, and I think it was Christmas when things really began to change. As I recalled the memory, I felt like I was actually reliving it.

We’d all been staying at the Leaky Cauldron - paid for by the Ministry of Magic - but Mrs Weasley invited us all to the Burrow for Christmas. Hermione agreed instantly, as did I, but Draco remained unsure, and eventually, Hermione told me to go and talk to him.

“Why me?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“He’ll listen to you, Harry. He respects you a lot and he’s grown to like you,” Hermione said in that all-too-familiar tone which meant ‘do it and don’t argue’.

I sighed and trudged up the stairs to Draco’s room. I hesitated before knocking, wondering if I was doing the right thing, when the door suddenly opened and he was stood there. “What?” he asked, not ungraciously.

“I know you’re unsure about spending Christmas with the Weasleys, Draco,” I began, then stopped. I’d just called Malfoy by his given name and it didn’t sound weird. I held my breath, waiting to see if he’d say anything. But he just looked at me and I suddenly realised how grey his eyes were. I knew I needed to start speaking again, but I was afraid my voice wouldn’t work. I was surprised when it did, even though it was a little shaky. “But they wouldn’t have invited you if they didn’t really want you there. You’ll enjoy it, honestly. Besides, I . . . I’d like you to be there.”

He regarded me thoughtfully for a few moments before grinning. It was a new thing for him - a grin, instead of a smirk - and it suited him. “When you put it that way, Harry, how can I refuse? I’d love to.” Then he stopped and looked awkwardly at his feet. “Erm, what should I bring? Should I get gifts, take some food, what?”

He sounded so earnest that I suddenly wanted to hug him. Reality check - did I just say _hug_ Malfoy?? I didn’t understand what was happening to me, but I wasn’t adverse to it. “Maybe some Butterbeers,” I told him. “And don’t laugh if you get a present. It wouldn’t surprise me if you get a Weasley jumper.” When he looked confused, I explained that Mrs Weasley knitted a jumper every year for her children, and that I’d also been getting them since my first year.

He smiled shyly. “I’ve never had anything so . . . personal before.”

I didn’t know what to say so I just smiled back and went to find Hedwig. I wrote a brief note to Mrs Weasley, telling her that Draco would be joining us, and I also explained about the jumper. _If she hasn’t already knitted him one,_ I thought, _she will now_.

The first hour at the Burrow was awkward, but Draco was the definition of politeness. Once he had laughed good-naturedly at the twins pranks, complimented Mrs Weasley on her cooking, and listened with interest as Mr Weasley explained about his plug collection, he began to relax as did everyone else.

We’d arrived a few days before Christmas and one morning, Hermione insisted on dragging Ron to Diagon Alley to do some last minute shopping. “You’re both welcome to join us, if you like,” she said brightly to Draco and me.

Ron caught my eye while Hermione wasn’t looking and shook his head furiously. I knew he didn’t want to go, but I thought it might be enjoyable. For the first time in my life, I had nothing (except my final school year) to worry about. I had my adoptive family around me and I wanted to buy presents. And as much as I hated to admit it, even to myself, I was looking forward to spending the time with Draco. If he agreed to go.

“Thanks, Hermione. That would be great,” I heard him say.

“Harry?” Hermione asked.

“Er, yeah, okay.” I knew I sounded unenthusiastic but I couldn’t help it. Draco’s sudden change in behaviour still surprised me. We Flooed to Diagon Alley and I took great care to pronounce the name properly this time. I still remembered what happened the last (and first) time I used Floo powder.

As soon as we arrived, Hermione dragged Ron off, shouting they’d meet us in the café at lunch. Draco and I stood looking at each other awkwardly for a few moments. “Where do you want to go?” I asked eventually.

“I was hoping you could help me find presents for the Weasleys, and for Hermione,” he said to me with a shy smile.

We spent the morning going round all the shops and managed to find something for everyone. Ron was heavily laden down with bags when he and Hermione arrived at the café, but before they could sit down, Draco grabbed Hermione’s arm and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and looked at us. “We won’t be long.”

Ron looked at me incredulously as they disappeared into the crowd. “What the bloody hell was that all about?”

I shrugged, just as confused as he was, and started talking about Quidditch. It’s the one thing that always takes my mind off my worries, and we were so involved in our conversation that we didn’t realise they had come back until Hermione cleared her throat. I looked up and saw she was wearing a smug expression, while Draco was unusually unreadable.

We all went around the shops together in the afternoon before heading back to the Burrow. We were freezing, laden down with presents, but buzzing with happiness. The Burrow was quite full when we arrived back. Ginny had brought Neville with her - those two were quite the item since Ginny and I had split up. But I’d rather not go there. I’m not saying it was a mistake, I’m just not sure it was what I actually wanted. I’m still not sure what I want, but I’ve got a better idea. Bill and Fleur, who had been happily married for a year or so at that time, were there, as was Charlie. And of course the twins had come home for some of their mother’s excellent cooking. With me and Draco, Ron and Hermione, and Ron’s parents, there were thirteen of us in the house, but none of us could have been any happier.

It was Christmas Eve and we were all situated in various parts of the house as we wrapped our presents. I heard footsteps in the corridor and then I heard Hermione’s voice. She was whispering and I couldn’t make out what she was saying, or who she was talking to. Someone answered, a male most likely, as the girls were slightly out numbered that year, then it all went quiet. I shrugged to myself and carried on wrapping my presents. Then there was a knock at the door and without looking up, I yelled for whoever it was to come in. I heard the door open, then close again, and when the person didn’t make a sound, I looked up.

Draco was stood there looking extremely awkward, something I wasn’t used to seeing. “Am I disturbing you, Harry?” he asked tentatively.

I scrambled to my feet while my mind whirled. I’d been wondering how I was going to manage to give him his present without everyone asking questions and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. “Nah, I was just finishing wrapping these,” I replied, waving my hand at the presents on the floor.

“Ah.” He nodded and shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

“Can I help you with something, Draco?” I got the feeling he needed some encouragement.

“I wanted to give you your present,” he said, taking a step towards me. “I hope you don’t take offence, and you don’t have to accept it if you don’t want.” The words came out in a rush, revealing how nervous he really was.

I took a step towards him, and we were so close that I could smell the cologne he was wearing. _Cologne??? Just who is Malfoy trying to impress?_ I wondered. “I’m glad you’re here,” I said to him. “I can give you your present now.”

“What is it?”

I shook my head. “You first. No, actually, I should probably go first, then you can get over your disappointment.” He frowned and I realised I was going to have to explain myself. Cue embarrassment. “It’s nothing special,” I told him. “In fact, it didn’t cost me anything, but it’s the thought that counts, right?” I smiled hopefully.

“What is it?” he repeated, clearly intrigued.

I shrugged depreciatingly. “A hug.”

There was a long silence before Draco’s face split into a grin. “That’s perfect,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. “That’ll go just right with my present, if you accept it.”

Now I was intrigued. “What have you got me?”

I suddenly noticed he’d kept one hand behind his back the whole time and when he brought it round to the front of him, I saw he was holding a sprig of mistletoe. He held it at waist height and I could see his hand was shaking nervously. I was tempted to make some humorous remark, but thought better of it. Draco, however, seemed to know what I was thinking. “This isn’t exactly your present,” he said, looking directly into my eyes before holding the mistletoe above our heads. “It’s what you do underneath it.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “I’m not offended and I’m not laughing at this situation,” I assured him quickly. “It’s just your way with words.”

Draco smiled. “Well, Harry?”

I didn’t really need to think about whether I was going to accept his gift or not, but I wanted a question answering first. “Why?” I asked. “Why this particular present?”

He managed to look embarrassed again and I couldn’t help thinking he was rather cute when he was bashful. “I need to know if I can ever love, if I can ever feel happiness or joy. I need to feel alive and I think you can help me with that.” I must have looked terrified because he quickly continued. “I don’t want anything more after this and we never have to speak of it again if you don’t want to. I can’t explain why you’re the only one who can help me, but I think you are.”

He didn’t need to explain - I understood, and it was something you couldn’t put into words. Instead, I took a step forwards and tilted my head up to look at him. He realised that was my answer and lowered his lips until they brushed mine. I wasn’t prepared for what happened, for the electricity that ran through my body, or for the tenderness Draco poured into that one action.

When we finally pulled away, we were both a little breathless, and we smiled awkwardly at one another. “Time for me to give you your present,” I told him shyly. I snaked my arms around his waist and pulled him towards me, leaning my head on his chest.

He dropped the mistletoe and hesitantly put his arms around my shoulders. He was tense, so I started making circles in the small of his back. He began to relax and as he did, he hugged me tighter.

A knock on the door made us both jump violently, and I realised we must have been stood like that for ages. Then Hermione’s voice sounded through the door. “Time for supper, Harry!”

“I’ll be there in a minute!” I yelled back, grinning at Draco. “You okay?”

He nodded and gave me a smile that lit up his whole face. “That was the best present anyone’s ever given me. Thank you.”

I shrugged, still smiling. “You’re welcome. And thanks for mine.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I didn’t say anything.

Christmas Day, and we were all tearing into our presents, laughing and chatting happily. When everyone opened their presents from Draco, they were all pleasantly surprised. Each gift was perfect for the person and even though I helped by giving him ideas, he’d picked them all himself.

Then we all opened our Weasley jumpers and forced a smile onto our faces, all except Draco. He looked at his almost fondly and didn’t hesitate in pulling it over his head. It was green with a silver ‘D’ on the front (I think he’s still got it somewhere, actually) and I hated to admit it, but he looked good. Just like part of the family. The same thought seemed to have occurred to Draco because he started crying. Yes, Draco Malfoy crying. In front of a crowd of people. In front of the Weasleys. Yes, it really happened. I was there.

Mrs Weasley crossed the room quickly and pulled him unthinkingly into a hug, even though he towered over her. Without realising what I was doing, I walked over to them and put my arms around Draco too, then Hermione came and put her arms around both of us. Soon everyone was involved in a thirteen people group hug and I’ve never felt so much love in one place before.

We all broke apart at the same time and began busying ourselves with tidying up, setting the table, or cooking. I think we were all slightly embarrassed by such a huge display of affection, but I noticed that we were all smiling, so it couldn’t have been that bad.

True to his word, Draco never mentioned our ‘private moment’ again and we passed through the rest of our school year (such as it was) in relative normality. Ron had grudgingly agreed that Malfoy might not actually be so bad, and even though he still wasn’t on first name terms with him, he treated him as an equal.

We all passed our exams with excellent grades, which Ron, Draco and I put down to Hermione’s perseverance with getting us to study. But she shook her head adamantly. “No, it wasn’t just me. We’ve all got our strengths and weaknesses, and we all helped each other. That’s how we all passed. Because we had each other.”

There was a lot of truth in what Hermione said, which was usually the case. Even though she was talking solely about the exams, I found myself thinking that none of us would have survived fighting Voldemort if we hadn’t had each other to rely on.

Ron and Draco started talking Transfiguration, something they were both terrible at, and Hermione took the opportunity to drag me aside. “Hermione, what . . .?” I started to say, but she cut me off with a wave of her hand.

“When are you and Draco going to sort things out?” That was Hermione - straight to the point in the bluntest way possible.

“What do you mean?”

She rolled her eyes. I hate it when she does that. “You two obviously have feelings for each other and I thought something more might’ve happened since last Christmas.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied and tried to walk away, but she grabbed my arm and turned me back to her.

“Harry, I’m not stupid. And you shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed about how you feel. It doesn’t bother me if you’re gay, straight or fancy trees.” She paused. “Okay, maybe the last one would be a cause for concern, but you know what I mean. I - we,” she gestured to Ron, “love you no matter what. Why don’t you start thinking of yourself, Harry, instead of worrying about the world? Be happy for a change.”

I started to say ‘maybe Draco doesn’t feel the same way’, but I knew that wasn’t the problem. It seemed like I was going to have to be brutally honest, with myself as well as Hermione. “I’m scared, Hermione. I’ve never had a proper family - except for you and Ron, and the rest of the Weasleys - and people who I love have a habit of dying or leaving.”

Hermione put her hand gently on my arm. “You’ve seen the way Draco looks at you. Do you really think he’d ever leave you?”

“Well, it is Malfoy we’re talking about,” I replied with a smile and she hit me. “I don’t know, Hermione.”

“Don’t you want to find out?” she said to me, and I nodded slowly. “Then stop being such a girl about it and tell him how you feel.”

“I am _not_ being a girl!” I replied heatedly, although I knew I was making big deal out of nothing. “Anyway, what’s going on with you and Ron?”

Hermione just smirked and dragged me back to where her boyfriend (after a smirk like that, Ron couldn’t be anything else) was talking with Draco. “Come on, Ron, let’s go for a walk,” she said to him, slipping her hand into his.

Ron looked slightly embarrassed, then grinned. “See you later, Harry. Mal - Draco.”

“What were you and Hermione talking about?” Draco asked curiously.

“You,” I told him truthfully.

“Really?” He looked surprised and I smiled.

“I’ve got a confession to make. Last Christmas, when you told me that you didn’t want anything more after one kiss, I felt disappointed - even hurt. I did want something more, much more.”

“What?” he asked hoarsely.

“You,” I repeated. “All of you. Heart, mind, body and soul. I don’t know how it’s happened, but I’ve bloody well fallen in love with you, Draco Malfoy.”

He stood rooted to the spot and I wondered if he was actually getting ready to run away. For a horrible moment, I thought I’d made a huge mistake and considered fleeing myself. But then he smiled and the sight made my heart soar. “I’m glad you feel the same,” he told me, quickly crossing the distance between us. “I thought I was the only one who felt that way.”

My heartbeat quickened as I realised what I was hearing - Draco Malfoy loved me!! I couldn’t help but laugh. “Who’d have imagined, eh?”

Draco chuckled. “Probably no one, not even Hermione.”

I reached up to cup his face just as he placed his hand on my cheek. I don’t know who initiated it but the next thing I knew, his hand was round the back of my neck, my fingers were wound in his hair, and we were kissing. Passionately, tenderly, romantically, fiercely.

That was eight years, ten months, three days and about three hours ago. I asked myself for the millionth time that day ‘how I did end up walking to my best friends’ house alone, instead of with my husband?’ But even though I was hurting, reliving that memory was enough to make me realise that Draco deserved a second chance. If I could find him.

 

TBC


	8. All Your Fault! - Draco's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**A/N The words Harry uses for his vows I borrowed from the film ‘Playing By Heart’, although I’ve altered them slightly. I just thought they were appropriate. I should also mention that some of you might find Snape to be out of character here, but in my mind, this is how he would be with Draco. And for those of you wondering, Snape didn’t get sent to Azkaban for killing Dumbledore because he ended up helping our heroes defeat Voldemort, and because Harry asked them to give him a different punishment. As a result, Snape isn’t allowed to teach or use much magic (but he can use some and still make potions). Right, enough explaining! Enjoy!**

 

**8\. All Your Fault! - Draco‘s POV**

 

When I arrived at Spinner’s End, I was so furious I could hardly think. My godfather, Severus Snape - arguably the most brilliant potions master of his generation - had quite possibly done the unthinkable, and if he had, I was going to kill him.

“Snape!!!” I yelled at the top of my voice before blasting the front door of his house open. Actually, I think I reduced it to a small pile of splinters. Slightly excessive force, perhaps, but I was so angry I didn’t care.

I stormed into the house, firing spells off in every direction, but there was no sign of my godfather. He couldn’t have gone far - his walking stick was still leaning against the wall.

Snape had surprised everyone by aiding in defeating Voldemort, but the effort had cost him dearly. The Dark Lord had hit Snape with some unknown hex right before he died, and its effects couldn’t be healed. My godfather now couldn’t walk without aid, so I knew if his walking stick was still in the house, so was he.

“Draco,” a quiet voice drawled from behind me. “Would you care to explain why I no longer have a front door?”

I whirled round and sent a silent hex at Snape. I can’t remember what it was, but he deflected it with a negligent flick of his wrist while giving me a disappointed glare. I sent a few more spells at him and he deflected them all. I hated him more and more each time he did it and before I knew it, I was uttering a spell I shouldn’t have even been thinking about.

“Sectumse . . .” I started to shout.

“NO!!!” Snape roared and hit me with a simple Expelliarmus spell before I realised what was happening.

I landed on my back on the floor and lay there groaning for a few moments. Snape crossed the room with surprising speed given his disability, and knelt down awkwardly next to me. “Get off me,” I grumbled, feebly trying to push his hand away.

He ignored me, as usual. “You will be fine, just sore for a few days.” He helped me into a sitting position. “What, may I ask, were you trying to do? Other than kill me.”

“Was I that obvious?” I asked sarcastically. “I’m glad you noticed my intentions. Now if you’d kindly get off me, we can finish what I just started.”

“I don’t think so, Mr. Malfoy,” Snape replied coolly.

“Well I do.” I pushed myself to my feet and pointed my wand at him.

“You really shouldn’t get yourself agitated,” Snape drawled. “It won’t do you any good, especially not in your condition.”

My jaw dropped as I realised what he had said. “What do you mean ‘my condition’?” I asked, aware my voice was higher than it should be. “What ‘condition’ would that be?”

Snape regarded me with black eyes, and I could tell he was choosing his next words carefully. “You are pregnant, Draco. I presume that is why you are here.”

Without thinking, I extended my arm and punched him. Hard. He staggered, but I grabbed the front of his robes to stop him from falling. “You are going to give me some answers. Now,” I hissed before throwing him into a chair.

Snape straightened up and smoothed his hair down, and suddenly he looked old. I realised how alone he must have felt, even though he had never really shown much in the way of emotions. Not even at my wedding.

“I thought it was what you wanted,” Snape said, his voice unusually apologetic.

“What gave you that idea?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Your wedding day.”

I cast my mind back to the happiest day of my life, trying to recall every detail.

I’d awoken early that morning, nerves not allowing me to sleep, and I spent hours checking everything was in place.

Harry had Ron helping him and I had Severus. Hermione kept darting between both of us - I don’t think the Floo network had ever been used so much by one person before or since that day. I was getting ready at Spinner’s End with only my godfather for company, while Harry was at the Burrow with the entire of the Weasley family around him.

It suddenly struck me how few people I had in my life. If Harry ever decided that he wanted to end things, he’d be fine because he had a large group of friends and an adopted family to fall back on. And even though I was now part of the Weasley family, they would put Harry first. I realised how vulnerable that thought made me feel. Harry had all those people and who did I have? Only Harry.

And my godfather, who was currently trying to strangle me with my bowtie. “If you don’t stop fidgeting, Draco,” Snape snarled. “I will put a full body bind charm on you.”

“You’d fidget if you were worried,” I snapped back.

“Why are you worried?”

I looked at him as though he was stupid. “Because I’m getting married. Isn’t that cause enough?”

Snape stopped dressing me and stared. “It’s not just that, is it? You are worried about what will happen if Potter ever decides to leave you.” The animosity between Snape and Harry was something that not even their mutual love (in different ways, of course) for me could diminish.

“Are you reading my thoughts again?” I shouted, walking away from him.

“I don’t need to, Draco; it’s written all over your face. Do you wish to talk about it?”

I stared at my godfather, dumbfounded. “Since when did you develop such a sensitive side?”

Snape shrugged. “Call it a temporary lapse of sanity, or the long-lasting efforts of having survived one of the Dark Lord’s most foul curses,” he said. “It was only a question, but obviously you still don’t trust me. Let’s finish getting you ready. You don’t want to be late.”

“I never said I didn’t trust you,” I told him, not moving from where I was stood. “I love Harry, Severus. I know you don’t like him, and that you don’t necessarily agree with our relationship, but he makes me happy. And I hope I make him happy.”

“You do,” Snape said quietly. “Any fool can see that.”

“But I’m worried. He’s surrounded by people that love him and care for him, and almost everyone he meets likes him. So what does he see in me? I know he’s happy now,” I said before Snape could reply. “But what about in the future? I want to make him happy for the rest of our lives, but I don’t know how.”

Snape folded his arms and regarded me coolly for a few moments. “He sees everything in you. He sees your good points and your faults, and he still loves you. He wants to understand you and to give you everything you’ve lacked in your life so far,” Snape replied in a quiet voice. “Draco, you and . . . Harry are more alike than you realise. Both of you have been short of family in your lives and both of you have definitely been short of love. True love, from friends or partners.” Snape stopped and took a step towards me. “You want to know what Harry sees in you, Draco? Take a look in his eyes next time you see him, because there you will see yourself reflected, and if you still have any doubts after that, then you shouldn’t marry him.”

I could feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes but I refused to cry. Instead I straightened up and nodded. “What’s left to do? I don’t want Hermione shouting at me for being late.”

“Why not? It is the bride’s prerogative after,” Snape said, a smile tugging the corners of his lips.

I scowled at him just as Hermione appeared in the fireplace. “Draco!!! You’re not ready!” she yelled.

“Well done for stating the obvious, Hermione,” I replied sarcastically.

She ignored me and turned to Snape. “You will make sure he arrives on time, won’t you?” she asked, her tone slightly frosty.

Snape inclined his head. “You have my word, Mrs Weasley.”

Hermione nodded, threw some Floo powder into the fireplace and shouted ‘The Burrow’ before disappearing.

“So what’s left to do?” I asked, sighing.

“Not much. I think we’re almost ready to leave.” Snape looked at me as an evil grin spread across his face. “At least your hair is done - they would still be waiting for us tomorrow if that needed doing.”

We arrived at the Burrow with a few minutes to spare before the beginning of the ceremony. Hermione dusted the Floo powder off us and asked for the millionth time if we had everything.

“Hermione, I’ve got the ring, what else do I need?” I asked exasperatedly.

“Just don’t lose it,” she said as she disappeared outside.

I glanced at Snape and rolled my eyes. “How am I going to lose it between here and there?”

He shrugged. “Are you sure you’re ready for this, Draco?”

As I turned to look at him, the pictures on the mantelpiece caught my eye. Mrs Weasley had photos of all her children, and their partners if they had them, arranged there. Ginny and Neville were there with their arms around each other, as were Bill and Fleur. Charlie was being chased by a dragon, while the twins were chasing each other. There was what looked like a blank picture, but I could just see Percy’s face peeking over the corner of the frame. Then there were photos Ron and Hermione, who were beaming at each other, and Mr and Mrs Weasley. Pictures of all their grandchildren were in smaller frames dotted along the mantelpiece, and somewhere amongst all of them was a photo of me and Harry. I was laughing at whoever was taking the picture, but Harry was gazing at me. Then he turned to look at the camera and for a brief second, I saw what Snape meant. Harry’s eyes reflected what he saw in me and my heart soared. Suddenly I wanted to just sod the wedding and race down to where I knew he was waiting for me. I wanted to kiss him senseless and tell him how much I loved him. It was tempting.

“Draco?” Snape said, resting his hand lightly on my shoulder. “Are you alright?”

I turned and smiled. “I’m fine. And yes, I’m ready for this.”

When we started organising the wedding, neither Harry nor I had any idea where we’d like to get married. We toyed with a few ideas - the church in Hogsmeade, the Great Hall at Hogwarts - but nothing jumped out at us. Then one evening we were looking through photos of Bill’s and Ron’s weddings and we realised the Burrow would be a perfect place. The Weasleys’ had agreed immediately, although Mrs Weasley had started crying. The whole family, including partners and children, had lent a hand to get everything ready on time. Inside the Burrow, wonderful cooking smells lingered everywhere and I suddenly realised I was hungry. I’d been too nervous to eat breakfast.

Snape straightened up as much as he could and offered me his elbow. He had insisted on leaving his walking stick at home, citing the excuse that he didn’t want anyone thinking him weak. The doors opened and the sun was so bright, I was blinded for a second. The chairs had been arranged in two groups to create an aisle down the centre and everyone had sat where they pleased. Harry and I had agreed that we didn’t want one side for him and one side for me - we wanted two sides for people closest to us.

As I walked down the aisle, I deliberately kept my eyes downcast, looking from side to side but not forward. I didn’t want to see Harry until the last possible moment. I saw the twins at the back and I could tell they were plotting mischief of some kind. The rest of the Weasleys were there in various places, as were their children, who were all behaving better than Fred and George. I couldn’t persuade anyone of my old friends from Hogwarts to come, but some of the Gryffindors were there, as well as a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Headmistress McGonagall was there along with some of the other teachers including Hagrid and Flitwick. Mad-eye Moody was there and next to him were Remus and Tonks, both of whom beamed at me as I passed. Hermione was sat at the front with her children and she grinned as I reached her. I realised it was time to look up.

I found Ron’s face first and he gave me a brief smile. At least the dress robes he was wearing were better than the ones he’d worn at the Yule Ball in our fourth year. Then I looked at Harry and I almost swooned on the spot.

He’d left his hair scruffy at my request and I resisted the urge to run my fingers through it. Even though his dress robes were the same as everyone else’s, he looked hundred times better than anyone else. His broad shoulders and narrow waist were clear for everyone to see, and the dark blue shirt he was wearing accentuated his muscled torso. I was worried the colour of the shirt would clash with his eyes, but I silently admitted Hermione was right when she had said it wouldn’t. Harry’s green eyes shone more brightly than normal as he gazed at me unabashedly, his feelings more than obvious. I’d opted for a plain white shirt, but I know I could have been wearing a bin bag and Harry would still have looked at me the same way.

We’d both prepared our own vows, and I let Harry go first.

“Your love is the tenant of my heart and soul,” Harry said. “Often late with the rent and with many bad habits, but impossible to evict.”

There was a quiet ‘aawww’ from the congregation and I took a deep breath. As soon as I’d seen Harry at the end of the aisle, and he’d looked at me the way he did, I knew exactly what I wanted to say, and my prepared speech just didn’t cover it.

“I never thought I’d be here, in this moment, with you,” I started and I saw Harry’s eyes widen slightly as he realised this wasn’t the speech I’d written. “I never thought anyone could make me feel so loved or special, or so good about myself. I haven’t always been a nice person, but I didn’t realise that a part of me was missing, or what that part was. Then I found you. Everytime you look at me, I feel how much you love me, and it makes me want to cry. I don’t think I deserve it sometimes, but if you didn’t think I was worth the effort, you wouldn’t be here. I know that now. And I want to spend the rest of my life giving you what you want and need, and if you want something I can‘t give, I‘ll find a way to make it possible.” I paused for a moment, taking the time to drink every inch of Harry in. I wanted to savour the pleased look on his face and the way his eyes reflected his smile. “You are my heart, my soul, my conscience. You are the air I breathe, my reason for everything I do. You are my first thought in a morning, my last at night, and every moment in between, you’re there. You’re my world.”

Harry’s answering grin was like the sun coming up. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look quite as pleased as he did in that moment. I could hear a lot of sniffling from the congregation and assumed they’d either suddenly caught colds or were crying. But it didn’t bother me. All I could see was Harry. I took his proffered hand and smiled back at him.

After the ceremony, we didn’t get a moment’s peace because everything wanted to come and talk to us. But it was fine. I knew I’d have the rest of my life with Harry to make moments of our own.

Snape was the last person to see us, and he only wanted to tell us he was leaving. “I am glad you are happy, Draco,” he said to me, shaking my hand. Then he turned Harry and held his hand out. They shook silently, which I took to be a good sign.

“Thanks for coming, Severus,” I replied. “Your help and support today means everything to me.”

He looked at me almost fondly and I wondered what he was thinking. “It was nothing. You are my godson after all. I’m sorry I didn’t bring your present,” Snape told us. “It’s not quite finished yet.”

Harry waved his hand and grinned. “It doesn’t matter. You brought Draco - that’s enough for me.”

Snape inclined his head. “I’ll take my leave now.” He walked a short way before Apparating.

It suddenly hit me why Snape had told me to remember my wedding day and as I brought myself back to the present - the memory had been so powerful I might as well have used a Pensieve. I looked at my godfather incredulously. “Do you mean to tell me that mine and Harry’s wedding present is pregnancy?!”

Snape looked at me and rolled his eyes. “No, Draco. A child,” he said to me in his best teacher’s voice. “I could tell that the thing you wanted to do most in the world was make Potter happy. I also knew that he would only truly be happy if he had a family, since he never knew his. And I thought if he had a family with the person he loved - you, in case you were wondering - then he would be as happy as he could ever be.”

I couldn’t do anything except stare at Snape. The gesture - the whole idea, in fact, the time and effort he must have put into this - stunned me with its thoughtfulness. “You did all this . . . for Harry?” I asked.

“I did it for both of you,” Snape replied. “As I’ve said before, my feelings for Potter will never change, but I happen to care for you, as you are the closest thing I have to a family. And now, I realise, I am the only family you have left, except for Potter. I thought you would like a child with him because it would give you a chance to do something right. You could give the child everything you didn’t have when you were growing up - mainly love.”

I stared at him for a while longer before groaning and burying my head in my hands. “What am I going to tell Harry?” I muttered.

“The truth might help,” Snape replied, unsurprised I hadn’t told my husband anything. Then he started to rise from his chair.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked, jumping to my feet.

“I have things to do,” Snape said, giving me a withering look.

“We’re not finished yet,” I told him, grabbing his arm. “You’re going to come with me and explain all this to Harry.” I dragged him towards the door. “I can’t believe this is all your fault!”

 

TBC


	9. He Did What?! - Harry's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**9\. He Did What?! - Harry‘s POV**

 

Before I knocked on Ron and Hermione’s door, I took a deep breath and steeled myself. I knew that if Hermione got the chance, she’d grill me about why Draco wasn’t with me, and I couldn’t deal with telling her the truth. Not yet, anyway.

I knocked on the door and James answered. “Uncle Harry!” he yelled before throwing his arms around my legs. Lily appeared with a scream and pushed her brother out of the way.

“Don’t fight, kids!” I replied with a laugh. “There’s plenty of me to go around.”

“Kids! Out in the garden, now!” Ron shouted, then flattened himself against the wall as the children barrelled past him. “Alright, mate?”

I shook his hand and shrugged. “Not bad. You?”

Ron shrugged as well. “Alright. Kids driving me nuts.”

“And Hermione?”

“Driving me crazy as usual,” he said, laughing.

“I meant is she alright?!” I replied, hitting him.

“Oh, she’s fine,” Ron said with a grin. “How’s Draco?”

There was something in the way he asked that question that made me frown. “He’s not so well. I think it’s just a cold but he’s refusing to take anything for it. I think he’d rather suffer,” I remarked, giving a short laugh, and I hoped I sounded convincing.

“Yeah,” Ron said, laughing as well. Something still wasn’t right, but I decided it was probably just me.

Hermione was in the kitchen and she greeted me with an extra big hug. “Glad you could make it,” she whispered before kissing me on the cheek.

“What was that for?” I asked suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Hermione said, a little too quickly. “How’s Draco?”

“Not so good, but it’s nothing a potion wouldn’t cure,” I replied. “If he’d take one.”

“Being awkward, is he?” she asked, and I knew immediately from her tone of voice that she hadn’t believed my lie about Draco being ill.

I wasn’t sure what to say so I just shrugged. “You know what he’s like.”

She nodded and looked as though she was going to say something, but Ron cut in. “Harry,” he said. “Do you fancy a quick game of Quidditch with me and the kids before we eat?”

I shrugged again. “Why not?”

It seemed that no sooner had we started a match than Hermione was shouting us back inside to eat. I went to the bathroom to wash up and as I came back out, I ran into Sirius. Or should I say, he ran into me.

“Sorry, Uncle Harry,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it. You okay?” I asked.

“Not bad,” he replied, grinning broadly. It was uncanny how much he looked like my godfather when he smiled, even though there was no blood relation as such between them. “You?”

I shrugged. I seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. “Alright.”

“Have you and Uncle Dray fallen out?”

“No, why?” I asked, frowning.

“It’s just he was here earlier, and he seemed real upset about something,” Sirius answered, scratching his head. “But before I could find out what was wrong, he’d Apparated.”

“Sirius,” I said, putting my hand on my godson’s shoulder. “When was Draco here?”

“He left not long before you got here,” he replied. “Mum must have been mad at him, though.”

“Why?” I asked.

“She hit him!” Sirius said, throwing his arm out in an imitation of a punch. “Right across the face!”

“SIRIUS ALBUS WEASLEY!!!” a voice suddenly roared, and we both turned to see Hermione stood behind us, her face like thunder.

“Oh crap!” he exclaimed, and scampered off. My mind should have been occupied with chiding my seven year old nephew for swearing, but all I could think about was Draco.

“When were you going to tell me my husband had been here?” I asked, my anger barely contained.

“Harry, please don’t be angry,” Hermione started.

“Hermione, Draco was here and you didn’t tell me!” I yelled. “How am I supposed to act?”

“I should be annoyed with you for lying,” she snapped back.

I glared at her for a while, choosing my next words carefully. “Hermione, if Draco was here then you must know he’s left me,” I said, gritting my teeth together. “I think I’ve got every right to be angry, don’t you?”

“It’s not what it seems, mate,” Ron said, putting an arm around his wife.

“Well then, would someone care to explain how exactly it is then?” I asked. I was very impressed with myself - I didn’t swear or consider hexing them once. Well, not seriously.

“It’s not for us to say,” Hermione answered standoffishly.

“I can’t ask Draco because I don’t know where he is, do I?” I replied in a sarcastic tone. “Which means you’re the ones who’ve got to give me some answers!”

“Don’t take it out on us, mate,” Ron said defensively.

“There’s no-one else around, I’m afraid,” I snapped. “Now either tell me what’s going on or I’m going to start taking the country apart to look for my husband because it’s quite obvious something is wrong.” I took a deep breath once I’d finished speaking.

“Fine, but first you’ve got to promise not to get angry,” Hermione said in a pleading tone.

“I’ll try,” I replied.

“Yes, Draco was here,” she started. “I knew he’d left you as soon as he arrived but I didn’t know why. Harry, has Draco been acting hormonal lately?”

“Hormonal?” I repeated. “He’s gay, Hermione, not a woman.”

“I know that,” she snapped impatiently. “Just answer the question.”

“Not really,” I replied, then stopped and thought properly. “He’s seemed normal to me, apart from the odd mood swing. But he usually gets those.”

“You haven’t noticed anything different?” Hermione persisted.

“Well, when he’s moody, it seems worse than normal, but when he’s loving, it’s more intense than usual. He’s also developed a taste for chocolate ice cream, which he’s never touched before. Why?”

“I still don’t think you should tell him,” Ron muttered to his wife. “It’s Draco’s job.”

“Yes, Ron, but look how Draco reacted when he found out,” Hermione replied.

“Excuse me, I am still here,” I snapped.

“Yes, Harry, we know. You’d never let us forget,” Hermione retorted. “But Ron’s right, Draco should be telling you what’s going on.”

“Fine. Where can I find him?” I asked, and my two best friends exchanged a look. “Will you just give me some answers??!!”

“He’s gone to Spinner’s End, Harry,” Ron replied. “To see Snape.”

“Snape? Why’s he gone to see him?” I asked.

“Because it’s kind of all Snape’s fault,” Ron said.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” I rolled my eyes and sighed. “What’s he done now?”

“It’s Draco’s fault as well,” Hermione replied. “I think it all started with Draco wanting to make you happy.”

I gave a guttural yell and stormed out of the house. “Oi, mate!” Ron shouted as he and Hermione ran after me. “Where’re you going?”

“To get some answers,” I replied as I strode away from the house. “Because you two can’t give me a straight reply to anything!”

“Harry, you can’t just go charging into Snape’s house demanding answers,” Hermione said, grabbing my arm.

“Why not?” I replied.

She sighed and shook her head. “Fine, but I want you to understand that we don’t want to tell you this. But we also don’t want you to maim anyone, and the mood you’re in at the moment, I wouldn’t put it past you.”

Ron had suddenly stopped and was looking at Hermione with a strange expression on his face. “Hermione, he’s not . . . you know, is he?”

His wife shook her head. “No, it can only be one of them. Harry’s just reacting as anyone would.”

While they’d been talking between themselves, I’d taken my wand out and as soon as Hermione stopped speaking, I cast a full body binding charm on both of them. “I’ll let you out if you give me some answers,” I said with a smug smile.

Hermione glared at me and closed her eyes. “That was uncalled for,” she snapped as she waved her arm at me. I’d forgotten she knew how to undo the spell silently. She freed Ron, who just had a hurt expression on his face.

“We’re just looking out for you, mate,” he said.

“Just tell me why my husband disappeared this morning and left me this!” I yelled, holding my left hand up to their faces. I couldn’t bare leaving Draco’s wedding ring at home so I’d put it on my little finger. Draco’s fingers were much slimmer than mine and his ring would fit on my ring finger of either hand.

“I didn’t realise Draco was so serious about leaving,” Hermione said quietly, examining the ring on my finger. “But Harry, you’ve got to understand that he didn’t mean it. He was confused. He’s . . .”

“What?” I asked.

“He’s pregnant,” Ron finished for his wife.

I stood dumbfounded for a while, my jaw slowly dropping as I tried to understand what Ron had just told me. “He’s . . . Draco’s . . . What?” I stuttered.

“He’s pregnant,” Hermione repeated patiently.

“But . . . HOW??!” I shouted at the top of my voice.

“Honestly!” Hermione yelled back. “Don’t any of you ever read?? Is it a male thing?”

“No dear, it’s a ‘you thing’ that you read so much,” Ron replied affectionately.

“Do you two mind?!” I snapped. “How the fuck can Draco be pregnant?”

“There was an article in the Daily Prophet a while ago about a new potion that allowed gay men to have babies that were entirely theirs,” Hermione explained. “And Snape was the one who developed it.”

“He did _what??_ ” I exclaimed.

“I’m not going to repeat myself,” Hermione said. “I don’t know if he did it for a reason or whether he did it because no-one’s ever done it before.”

“Well, there’s one way to find out,” I replied, and Apparated to Spinner’s End.

 

TBC


	10. Home - Draco's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll put everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**10\. Home - Draco‘s POV**

 

I’d just managed to get Snape out of the house when Harry appeared, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look quite so furious. He pointed his wand at us and I knew as soon as he spoke how angry he was.

“Tell me what the fuck is going on,” Harry yelled. “Or I swear on my parents’ graves I will seriously hex the pair of you!”

“Harry, wait,” I said, starting to panic.

“No, Draco, I won’t wait. I’ve just come from Ron and Hermione’s,” he explained. “And they wouldn’t tell me anything, except the fact that you’re supposed to be pregnant!!”

“He _is_ pregnant,” Snape said quietly.

Harry pointed his wand at Snape, his green eyes flashing dangerously. “You don’t speak unless it’s to answer a question, right?” he roared. “This is all your fault!!! And you.” Harry glared at me when he said that. “You owe me a really big explanation for fucking off this morning leaving only a crappy note and this!” He held his left hand up and I could see my wedding ring on his little finger.

Suddenly I just wanted to run to Harry and throw my arms around him. To sob uncontrollably into his shoulder while telling him how sorry I was. Involuntarily, I took a step forward, my hand reaching out to my husband.

“Draco, we should explain first,” Snape said, putting his hand on my arm.

I looked at him and back to Harry, whose anger hadn’t subsided yet, and nodded. Without taking my eyes off my husband, I told him what I’d told Hermione - about my insecurity, my doubts. Everything. I told him how she’d guessed I was pregnant and how I’d come here to get some answers from my godfather.

Then Snape explained his reasons for making the potion. He couldn’t quite manage to keep the sneer out of his voice while talking to Harry, but I don’t think my love noticed. He seemed far more interested in what was being said than the tone of voice it was being delivered in.

“The day before I announced the discovery to the Ministry of Magic,” Snape said. “I had lunch with Draco at the Leaky Cauldron. It wasn’t difficult to slip some of the potion into his drink.”

“So . . . So . . .” Harry spluttered. “So how long has Draco been pregnant?”

Snape shrugged. “Maybe a month. Maybe more, maybe less,” he said. “But the pregnancy will take sufficiently longer as there are certain organs that must be grown first.”

“How much longer?” I asked in a panicked tone.

My godfather shrugged again. “Another three months or so.”

“ _What??!_ ” I screamed. “I’m going to be pregnant for a year?? That’s not fair!!”

“I don’t think Hermione will ever complain again,” Harry said solemnly.

“This isn’t funny, Harry,” I snapped.

“You don’t have to tell me that. I’ve spent all day wondering where the fuck you are. Wondering whether you’re alright or not, and wondering what made you leave,” he retorted and I knew he was still angry.

“But my emotions are all over the place because of this!” I said, waving my hand at my abdomen.

But Harry shook his head and my heart dropped to my feet like a large rock. “It’s not a good enough reason or excuse, Draco,” he said sombrely. “You’d still have had these doubts if you weren’t pregnant. The fact is you didn’t talk to me about it and I thought we shared everything. I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other. Obviously I thought wrong.” Harry turned and started to walk away.

“Harry, wait!” I yelled. I broke free of Snape’s hold and ran to my husband. I grabbed his shoulder and spun him round to face me. “Harry, I honestly didn’t know what Severus was planning and if I had known, I’d have talked to you about it. You know that. And I didn’t tell you about my doubts because I thought you’d just dismiss them and tell me I was daft. I was wrong, I realise that now, and all I can do is apologise and try to make it up to you.” I let go of him. “And if you’re not ready for this child, then we’ll . . . we’ll terminate it. But if you want to leave me, I’ll terminate it anyway. I don’t want to bring a child into this world if you’re not with me. That’s not a ploy to get you to stay. I’m just being honest.”

Harry just stared at me and I wished I knew what he was thinking. He was silent for so long that I started to think the worst.

“Draco, if you terminate the child now, you will never be able to have another,” Snape told me. “And it will be painful.”

“I don’t care, Severus,” I replied without taking my eyes off Harry. “If I don’t have the support of the man I love, then I’m not doing it.”

“What?” Harry asked hoarsely.

I frowned. “I said if I don’t have your support while I’m pregnant, then I won’t go through with it.”

“No, that’s not what you said,” he replied, and suddenly I realised what he meant.

“I said ‘the man I love’,” I repeated. “I do love you, Harry - I wouldn’t be with you otherwise, and I certainly wouldn’t have married you.” I reached forward and tentatively took his hand. He didn’t pull away and I took that to be a good sign. “I’m sorry I panicked, but I just couldn’t see why you wanted me. Why you loved me. I know we’ve been together for eight years, ten months, three days and about eight hours now, but being married is different.”

“More like eight and a half hours,” Harry muttered. It was one of the few things we could never agree on - the exact time we got together.

I pointedly ignored him. “Now we’re married I feel like I should give you more or love you more. But I can’t, Harry. The only thing I can give you now is this child. And I can’t love you any more than I already do because I love you more than life itself.”

Harry looked at me and for once he was unreadable. Then he squeezed my hand and took a step towards me. “I’m sorry I got so angry,” he said. “It’s just I was so worried about you. I wondered what I’d done to make you leave.”

I couldn’t help but smile at him. Despite having left Hogwarts many years ago, his Gryffindor traits were still very much intact. “Why don’t we agree we’re both at fault and concentrate on moving on?” I suggested.

Harry cupped my face gently. “I think that’s a good idea, love. Besides,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “You should be resting, not arguing. Especially in your condition.”

I looked at him with some trepidation. “Does that mean you want to keep it?” I asked quietly. I don’t think I could’ve dealt with him saying ‘no’.

The love of my life brought my head down until our lips met and the world seemed to melt away until there was just Harry and me. Then we became one and I’d never felt so alive.

Snape cleared his throat. “If you two don’t mind, I’ll get back to what I was doing.” He turned to walk back to his house. “Congratulations,” he said over his shoulder before conjuring a new front door which he promptly slammed.

“Come on, love,” Harry said to me when we finally broke apart. “Let’s go home.”

 

TBC


	11. Our World - Harry's POV

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, I’m just borrowing things for a while and I promise I’ll everything back exactly how I found it when I’ve finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it ;)

 

**A/N I don’t know what Hermione’s parents are called - I don’t think J. K. Rowling has ever told us - so I just picked a couple of names that seemed to fit.**

 

**11\. Our World - Harry‘s POV**

 

“What about Nymphadora for a girl?” I suggested, and Draco pulled a face.

“You’re joking, right?” he replied. “Tonks would have us both sectioned in St. Mungo’s for that.”

“Well one of us has got to think of some names,” I told him. “And you aren’t being very helpful.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, Harry, I’m carrying our child. The least you could do is pick a decent name for it,” Draco said, pushing himself awkwardly to his feet. It was ten months after we discovered he was pregnant - which meant he was actually about eleven months gone - and he was quite big.

“I think we should put you on a diet, love,” I told him with a grin. “Or you’ll have to cut down on the Butterbeers. That belly is huge.”

“Potter,” he growled threateningly and I shut up. It was always a bad sign when he called me by my last name.

I crossed the room and put arms around him as far as I could. I kissed his shoulders and snuggled into his back. “Can I get you anything, Dray?” I asked. “Anything at all?”

“Other than a decent name for our child?” He turned and smiled at me. “No thanks. I’ve got you, that’s enough.”

He turned round and I had to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him. I thought we’d have had more arguments over the past year, but both of us had been quite reasonable with each other. It made me wonder whether we would have any more kids.

“Did Snape say how many times one person could use this potion?” I asked as I helped Draco to sit back down again.

“Yes.” Draco took my hand, but looked away.

“What is it, love?” I asked, sitting down next to him.

“If this doesn’t work, Harry - or even if it does - I can’t have any more children,” Draco said to me. “The potion is only designed to be used once by anyone.”

“That’s okay,” I replied with a smile. “I’ll take it next time.”

But Draco shook his head. “You can’t.”

“Why not?” I asked, frowning.

“Don’t be mad at me for not telling you this sooner, but I didn’t want to disappoint you,” Draco said, looking into my eyes. “I was talking with Severus not long ago and he said that once a ‘mother’ has been decided, which is me, the ‘father’, which is you, can’t then become a ‘mother’. It’d be like Ron suddenly having the kids instead of Hermione.”

I chuckled at that thought, but I soon became serious again. “So this is our only chance?” Draco nodded. “Why did Snape choose you and not me?”

“I suppose it was easier for him to administer the potion to me,” Draco replied with a shrug. “And also he knew that I wanted to give you something that would make you happy.”

“What about me? What can I give you?” I asked.

Draco smiled and ran his hand through my hair. “My dear Harry, you gave me love. That is the ultimate gift of happiness to me.”

I smiled and pulled him across to me so his head rested in my lap. “So I have to think of a name?” I asked as I stroked his hair.

“You don’t _have_ to,” he told me.

“I‘d rather we both decided,” I said to him. “You have a better feeling for these things than I do.”

Draco was silent for a while and I could tell he was thinking. “What about Arthur for a boy?”

“As a second name, it’s good,” I replied. “Is that after Mr Weasley?”

Draco nodded. “Seems appropriate somehow. Do you think he’ll mind?” he asked in a worried tone.

“Not in the slightest,” I answered, kissing his forehead. “I quite like Rose for a girl.”

“Rose,” Draco repeated. “For a second name, yes.”

I chuckled. “For a man who doesn’t like second names, you’re intent on our child having one.”

Draco shrugged. “Everyone else has one. I don’t want our child to be left out.”

I laughed harder. “Alright, what about first names?”

“What about Thomas and Sarah?” he suggested, looking up at me.

“You want to name the kid after Voldemort?” I asked incredulously.

Draco gave me a withering glare and shook his head. “No, because Voldemort was a Tom, not a Thomas.”

“It’ll get shortened,” I argued.

“So we’ll shorten it to Tommy,” Draco said calmly.

“I still don’t see why you picked that name,” I replied sulkily.

Draco sighed and rubbed my arm. “Think, love,” he told me. “Who else to we know who’s called Thomas?”

I thought for a while, then looked at him in surprise. “Hermione’s dad?” I couldn’t decide whether it was a question or a statement, so I left it hanging between the two.

Draco nodded. “And Sarah is Mrs Granger.”

“But they’re Muggle names,” I blurted out.

“So?” He regarded me seriously before speaking again. “Harry, I’m well aware of how I used to be but I’ve changed. You know that better than anyone. Ron and Hermione have named all their children after people closest to us, so I thought it would only be fair to name our child after someone close to them.”

I looked down at him affectionately and kissed his forehead again. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Draco said with a smile. “So is that okay with you?”

“It’s okay with me.”

“Good.” Draco grabbed my hand and kissed each of my fingers. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

I raised an eyebrow. “In your condition?” I teased.

My husband hit me as he sat up, making the dogs bark. “Is that all you ever think about?”

“No, all I ever think about is you,” I replied as I helped him to his feet.

Draco smiled and gave me a quick kiss. “Such a nice thing to say,” he told me with a twinkle in his eye. “I’m sure we can sort _something_ out.”

“Really?” I said, raising both eyebrows as I followed him upstairs.

A few hours late I was awoken by a sharp elbow in my ribs. “For Merlin’s sake, Harry, wake up!!” Draco was saying to me. “It’s times like this I wish you weren’t such a heavy sleeper!”

“Whattimeisit?” I muttered.

“It’s time to go to the hospital,” Draco told me, speaking in a very slow, clear voice.

I sat bolt upright in bed and made a wild grab for my glasses. I missed entirely, of course, and they went skidding onto the floor. “Hospital? What?? Really?”

Draco pulled back the covers and pointed to a damp patch in the bed. “I think that’s a good indication!!” he yelled, then let out a silent ‘ooo’ as a contraction caught him.

“Oh fuck!!!” I swore and began searching for my glasses. I was torn between panic and elation, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay calm even if I wanted to.

I eventually managed to get Draco downstairs but before we could make it to the fireplace, he collapsed with contractions. “No - time,” he said between gasps. “Get - Severus - Molly - Hermione - Poppy - now!!”

I nodded and opened the Floo network. “Hermione!! Need you and Ron here now!” I yelled at the top of my voice. “And bring Molly and Poppy!!!”

“Right!” a little voice answered.

“Severus!” I bawled, knowing I didn’t have much time before Hermione and the others arrived. “Draco needs you!” I didn’t wait for a reply before I closed the network and I’d only taken a step away from the fireplace when Snape arrived.

“What is it?” he asked me.

I pointed to my husband. “That’s what, Severus,” I told him calmly. Even though I still hated him, this was no time for animosity. “There’s no time to get to the hospital. Besides, we figured you’d know what to do better than them.”

Snape looked at Draco then back to me. “Harry, get me lots of blankets, pillows and a bowl of cool water.”

“Not warm?” I asked.

Snape shook his head. “This is to keep Draco’s temperature down.”

I nodded and was Accio’ing the items when the women arrived with Ron in tow. “Bloody hell,” my best friend said when he saw Draco on the floor.

Snape, Molly and Poppy nodded curtly at each other. “Harry, why don’t you and Ron go back to our house and keep an eye on the twins?” Hermione suggested.

“The twins?” I repeated stupidly.

“They were the only ones we could get to baby-sit at such short notice,” Ron explained, pulling his face. “Come on, let’s get out of the way.”

I crossed the room and knelt by Draco. “If you want me or need me just yell and I’ll be here in a flash, okay?” I told him as I kissed him on the forehead.

He nodded and shooed me away with his hand. “We’ll see you soon.”

When Ron and I arrived at Ron’s house, we were greeted with a scene of devastation. “I’ve only been away five minutes!” Ron yelled in a despairing tone.

“It was him!” Fred and George said, pointing to each other. “Hey, moral fibre!! How’s married life?”

I’d been stuck with that name since my fourth year of Hogwarts and the Tri-Wizard tournament. “Stressful.”

“Mum said Malfoy’d gone into labour,” Fred said with an evil grin.

“Couldn’t’ve happened to a nicer guy,” George agreed.

Ron looked at the mess and sighed. “Just make sure it’s tidy and that the kids are clean by the time Hermione gets back, okay?”

The twins saluted and it was obvious they had no intention of doing anything of the sort. But I wasn’t bothered. Right now, I was only concerned with my husband and the child that was being born.

“Say, why don’t we tidy up in here, George, then go outside and play Quidditch?” Fred suggested suddenly in an unusual display of tact.

“Good idea, Fred,” George said. “A nice game of three on three.”

“But there’s seven of us,” Ron protested.

“Yes, but have you seen Lily trying to play?” Fred asked. “She’s terrible.”

“She is only three, Fred,” George told him with a grin as he performed a cleaning spell.

The house changed from bombsite to show home right before my eyes and I had to smile. The twins never changed and I doubted they ever would.

“Hang on,” I said, stopping in mid-stride. “It’s the middle of the night. What are the kids doing up and how are we supposed to play Quidditch in the dark?”

“Well, mate, you made such a racket when you called Hermione that you woke the kids up,” Ron said.

“And dark isn’t a problem. After all -” Fred started.

“- We’re wizards,” George finished.

The twins wanted to play them and me against Ron and the kids, but Ron insisted on even teams. In the end, we settled for Ron, Fred and Sirius on one team and me, George and James on the other.

I’d no idea how long we played for. I was just glad of something to occupy my mind.

“Harry!” Hermione’s voice appeared from nowhere and I glanced down to see her stood on the ground, waving madly.

“What? Is everything alright?” I asked as I landed.

“Everything’s fine,” she said, beaming at me. “You can go home now. Molly, Poppy and Severus are waiting for you.” She gave her husband a quick kiss and hugged the children before taking my hand and leading me to the fireplace. “You go first, I’ll be right behind.”

I threw some powder into the hearth and spoke the name of our house clearly, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I didn’t know what to expect and my nerves were making my stomach churn.

I stepped out into our living room but there was no one there, so I waited until Hermione had joined me. “Where is everyone?” I asked.

“Molly, Poppy and Severus are in the kitchen. Draco’s upstairs,” she told me, and I noted with a sense of panic that she made no mention of a child.

“I’d better see the others first,” I said, not ready to face what might be waiting for me upstairs.

“I haven’t told him,” Hermione said as soon as we entered the kitchen, and they all nodded.

Snape stood and put his cup on the table. “Thank you for the tea, Molly,” he said, inclining his head to Mrs Weasley. “Poppy.” Then he turned to me and extended his hand. “Congratulations, Harry. I’ll take my leave now.”

“Thank you, Severus,” I replied as we shook.

“I’d better be going as well,” Madam Pomfrey said with a smile. She gave me a quick hug before following Snape out.

“Come on, dear,” Mrs Weasley told Hermione. “We’d better leave them to it.”

“Let us know when we can visit,” Hermione said to me before giving me a big hug.

“I will.” I followed them into the living room and hugged Mrs Weasley before she stepped in the fireplace. “Thanks for everything,” I called as she disappeared. “You too, Hermione.” Hermione beamed before disappearing and suddenly I was left alone.

I regarded the stairs for a while before I started to venture slowly up them. The door to our bedroom was open slightly and I could hear the sound of Draco breathing inside. I paused in the corridor, straightened, and knocked gently on the door.

“Come in, Harry,” Draco said quietly

I pushed the door open and stopped, frozen to the spot. I couldn’t believe the sight that greeted me and I didn’t know whether to cry or grin.

Draco was sat up in bed looking radiant and very pleased with himself, and in his arms were two bundles. Not one. Two. Two children. Twins. My love had given me everything I ever wanted and more.

I sat down carefully on the bed next to him and kissed him tenderly. “Are you alright?” I asked.

Draco nodded. “Tired and sore but very happy.”

“It was painful,” I said.

He nodded. “Very. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.” He looked at the babies and back at me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m more than okay, Dray,” I told him. “This is more than I ever wanted. You would’ve been enough for me, you didn’t have to do this.” I gestured gently to the babies.

Draco smiled at me. “I wanted to. To show you how much I love you.”

“Thank you, love.” It sounded inadequate but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. “Are you going to introduce me?” I asked, aware my voice was breaking with emotion.

“This is Sarah Rose,” Draco said, nodding to the baby in the crook of his right arm. “And this is Thomas Arthur.” He nodded to the baby nestled in his left arm.

“Can I?” I asked, looking at baby Sarah.

“Of course, you don’t have to ask, you daft sod,” Draco told me with another tired smile.

I carefully lifted Sarah up away from Draco and into my arms. She looked at me once before going back to sleep, and though I felt the tears well in my eyes, I didn’t cry. “Hello, Sarah,” I said quite seriously. “I’m your Daddy. And he . . . well, he’s the one that gave birth to you but I’m not sure what to call him yet.” Draco clucked his disapproval but I ignored him. “And that’s your brother, Tommy. I know it seems like a small family but don’t worry, you’ll never be short of love.”

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” Draco said to me in a soft voice.

I nodded. “But you can tell me again.” I turned to look at him, my expression serious. “And have I ever told you how much you mean to me? When I heard your vows on our wedding day, I wished I’d thought of them. Because that’s what you are to me. You’re my world, Draco, and I don’t want you to ever forget that.” I sat down carefully on the bed next to him, holding Sarah close to me.

“Then you’d better tell me more often,” he replied with a grin before kissing me. Then he snuggled into my shoulder while holding Tommy close to him and I shifted Sarah into a more comfortable position.

Our world was now complete.

 

FIN


End file.
